But that’s living, isn't it?

I write these back to back because the first post was getting long. But also because they are directly related. 

As I sent my emails and eagerly awaited the fatalist’s demise, I wondered what I would have to do to start actually pursuing a life outside of ‘wants’ and ‘shouldas’. What if I actually got everything I asked for now that I’ve let my fear stop ruling my life?

—Cue: Katy Perry’s “Roar”—

Don’t judge me, I love that song, jungle music video and all.

I have shortly found out that the answer to that question is: You get tired, and energized at the same time. I’m intimidated and inspired by all of the amazing people I've been able to meet in the last week.Yes, one week, and my mind is already blown.

I have drank an excess of café miels so much so that I won’t be surprised if I turn into a bee. I’ve stayed up late writing emails, squeezing in a round of dirty dishes, researching, and spent mornings taking tests and cackling with relative strangers of the sharpest wit. I’m exhausted at work during the day not as much physically, but more mentally if only because I’m riding a mental adrenaline rush that can only come from meeting brilliant, powerful, strong people who believe in pursuing your goals and dreams.

A tight-rope of sanity is being crossed, and the risk is falling into madness but, that’s life isn’t it?

 They are part of the world’s committee that says, “Yes, you can, dummy.” It’s a kaleidoscope of emotions and although I am not fearless by any means, I am alight with the momentum of the universe. There is no more silence, and it is a beautiful sound.

To exist is to throw oneself into the world. - Simone de Beauvoir
Image via @frenchwords