Back at it.

I haven't blogged for a long time because life has in the most sincere way, been hectic (let me cringe with you). My last post eluded to being committed to various projects but I wasn't clear on exactly what I've been ladling onto my plate. Part of that is my nervousness about following through and part of it is anxiety about it actually happening.

I'm back at school.

I woke up on the same morning that I decided to run my half marathon and realized that my grown up fantasy of who I should or could be, wasn't lining up with the moves I was taking to get there. I love reading, and writing and traveling and eating, because I'm a human and all those things are lovely in the right context. But the reality of living out Samantha Brown's lifestyle while being close to my family, friends and starting a family of my own some day (still waiting on that puppy) was that I wouldn't be happy.

I can't stretch myself in every direction because for me that just didn't carry the balanced life I want to live some day. I'll still write, because it's a fun hobby, but it can't be my one and only and neither could working full-time in marketing. If you've spoken with me about any ailment of yours or someone else's ever, you would know that I'm nosey (I call it curious) beyond what seems polite.

Oh your what hurts? Can I see it? No? Hm. Okay. Are you sure? Well, keep me updated on how it's holding up.

When I joined the military I chose a medical field-- not outright mind you--but I came back from training with every intention of becoming a nurse. I admire doctors, nurses and treasure my first time watching an amputation and open heart surgery (not at the same time). In NOLA, I was a kid in a candy store learning about old medical treatments and I listen to podcasts on medicine for fun.

You see where this is going, right?

I'm going back to school for medicine, and classes start today. I'm finally working toward answering one of my favorite questions of "What's your dream job?". I admire so many of my girlfriends because they answer it with, "This is my dream job." and I think, wouldn't it be nice if I would have pursued mine? Maybe in another lifetime, I would have eaten my way through the continents with a camera in tow but I don't see any reason why I can't eat through the continents and then write about it anyway, ya know, in between surgeries.

Here's the summary:

• Who: Me, (obviously) but this list looks dumb starting at 'What'.
• What: Going back to school for medicine: Undergrad Pre-requesites right now, applying to grad school in a year or two (no specific timeline because I don't know how classes are going to go yet, so I'm giving myself time and forcing patience.)
• Ultimate goal: Physician Assistant 
• When: Now because there's no time like the present and all that jazz.
• But actually what else am I doing in Bismarck? Why not make this time away valuable? 
• Where: I'm no longer exclusively a Bulldog! (The heartbreak is real) I'm now also a "*Mystic". *What that actually means I have no idea, but if I ever figure it out, I'll let you know.
• Why: Re-read this post if you still don't get it.
• How: Online-- I couldn't jump into taking classes on campus all over again. Being a poor college student full-time and working isn't in the cards for me right now. I want to do it all right now. Eventually I may have to abdicate the working world to focus on my pre-reqs but there's more to come on that front-- this post is already a mile long.

So, today is my first day of school and I'm really giddy.
Thank you to everyone who encouraged and supported me while I was considering taking these steps and when they didn't let my self-doubt get the best of me. On that note, I should probably go read my syllabi...